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Archive for April, 2009

mr green

mr green

ah, mr green. mr green presented a sartorial enigma to me, in that i couldn’t quite figure out how to bring his character out in my clothing. here he is, in some versions reverend green, a supposed man of the cloth who actually seeks to scam his parish out of every hard-earned cent that he can. which is all very well, but it doesn’t exactly leave me with a lot of options, does it? i mean, what am i supposed to do, walk around with a collar dyed green? nay, i decided my approach had to be a little more subtle. i had to dress innocent, but give the viewer little clues that would show them i wasn’t what i seemed.

hence:

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colonel mustard

colonel mustard

poor ol’ colonel mustard – here in america, he’s that stock character of the old buffoon, the one who talks endlessly about his glory days and makes them seem more interesting than they actually are. sort of like the old uncle at family gatherings, who’s always telling you “things were better way back when…” in some versions he is actually rather slimy and shady and has cheated people out of large sums of money. in some european versions, he’s smart and suave and a lot less old and buffoon-y. in yet other versions, he has a thing for mrs. peacock (i’d stay away, colonel, she HAS had fourteen husbands after all…)

the point is, there is more to ol’ mustard here than meets the eye.

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mrs peacock

mrs peacock

in the course of researching ol’ peacock here, i found out that she’s actually miss scarlet’s stepmother in some incarnations of clue. who knew? wikipedia, your wisdom never ceases to amaze me.

anyway, mrs peacock is always portrayed as ye olde grand dame of clue, but there’s more to the old bat than meets the eye. in some versions she’s had 4 husbands; in others, fourteen. fourteen! i don’t know about you, but that sounds exhausting.

anyway, she may look all stuffy and matronly now, but i bet you in her heyday, mrs peacock was a spunky, feisty, flirty little thing. you can’t wrap fourteen different men around your little finger otherwise. so in homage:

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miss scarlet

miss scarlett

i confess, i spent an inordinate amount of time last week thinking about my theme week outfits. and miss scarlett here, well, she was quite the conundrum. girlfriend gets a bad rap, okay? there she is, looking all sexy-like in every picture, with the slinky red dress and the fur (faux, i hope) stole, and you just think to yourself, she is up to no good.

well, i’m thinking, if you dressed a little more innocently, nobody would think you were a troublemaker. clothes make the woman, no? observe:

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the clue suspects.

the clue "suspects."

this theme was born thanks to my love of board games, and my knowledge of the fact that this week will be particularly stressful, and i want next week to be fun fun funnnn-tastic. so announcing, next week, Oh Honey No’s first official THEME WEEK! huzzah hurray yahoo skadoosh and all that jazz.

here’s what’s going to go down. starting from next monday, i’ll be basing my outfits on the characters from that beloved board game staple, clue (or cluedo, depending on where you’re from). as a refresher, those characters are:

  • colonel mustard
  • miss scarlet
  • mr green
  • mrs white
  • professor plum
  • mrs peacock
  • mr black

you can go as extreme with this as you want. i’m not saying you should go head to toe mr green, because you run the risk of looking like ye olde jolly green giant, but the character should be the dominant color in your ensemble. should you choose to participate, let me know so i can link you up! otherwise, stay tuned for my own attempts.

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here is a story about me and florals. i used to be afraid of them, because the ditzy floral prints all the rage at one point made me look like my grandmother’s cushion covers, and let me tell you, those things were never in style. but one day it hit me – bam!* – that florals come in all shapes, sizes and colors. and an addict was born.

observe:

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possibly, i am crazy.

i’m not sure what has come over me – i’m not a very “hat” person in general – but for summer, and specifically for the lazy, hazy days of upcoming camping trips and outdoor concerts and festivals, i’m thinking a straw hat is just the thing to add a touch of the sassy to boring hot-day outfits. plus, y’know, sun protection and all that jazz.


bead trim straw hat.

bead trim straw hat, $10.80.

why i do declare, part of me feels like i should wear this while la-dee-da-ing my way through the gardens. it is so very, very… floppy. but! part of me LIKES that. plus, if we’re really talking sun protection, well, you can’t beat having that hat brim shelter your face.


classic straw fedora.

classic straw fedora, $10.80.

oh i do love me a fedora. it looks so… cheeky. i’m sure it can’t afford that much protection from the sun, but it’s just so stinkin’ cute. just the right touch of insouciance (yeahhhh, see me bust out my SAT vocab skeelz), ala jason mraz in the video for “i’m yours” (which i want to live in).


fab straw cowgirl hat.

fab straw cowgirl hat, $5.50.

you are reading correctly. that is, in fact, a cowboy (cowgirl? how very pc, forever 21) hat. does this provoke questions on the state of my sanity? i’ll admit it’s been a rough couple of weeks, work-wise, but the truth is, well, i look crazy cute in a cowboy hat. really! cross my heart! it’s got the wide brim, and at $5.50 it’s the most wallet-friendly for a hat that, let’s face it, will probably only get used this summer before i toss it out.

what do you think? have i gone mad? or are straw hats practical in the wilting chicago heat?


all images courtesy of forever21.com.

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